Cardinal Sin

When the hot tears come
I know it is time
To run, to withdraw
No reason or rhyme


Clarion moment
Whereupon I draw
Standing and gazing
Into the great maw


Heart starts to flutter
Adrenaline surge
Feet feel the tingle
Of familiar urge


I must run and hide
Escape this dark fate
Ensconcing myself
Protected from hate


When I have exposed
The softness within
Inevitably
A cardinal sin


From my transgression
There's no recompense
Repeated again
Perhaps lacking sense


To trust to connect
With others abide
You silly old fool
The inner voice chides


Experience as
Calamity reigns
Once more feel my limbs
Entrapped in these chains


Chinking and clanking
The unholy sound
Locked within fetters
Here holding me down


Once I sought comfort
Found solace and care
Now look for your heart
And find no one there


Instead rejection
Closed in mind and thought
What seemed miracle
Fruition to naught


This moment, a tear
With crystalline calm
Flows soft down my cheek
Emotional balm


Release will soon come
A lesson now learned
Don't do it again
Or harm you have earned


I wish I was this
Isolated thing
Wrapped in aloneness
My own tribe and king